JEST CORNER                                                     

Appraisal Time

Yamraj assured a man,  “Put all anxieties to rest.  Enjoy your life. Nothing will happen to you for the next 10 years.”

He did so and the next thing that he experienced was an accident and subsequently death. In heaven, he asked Yamraj, Why did you lie to me??

Yamraj smiled and said, “Sorry son...appraisal time.  Had to achieve the target...”

Appraisal Report

When asked to submit an assessment about Kevin, the project leader wrote the following:

My team member, Kevin Jones, can always be found

hard at work in his cubicle. Kevin works independently, without

wasting company time, talking to colleagues.Kevin  never

thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always

finishes given assignments on time. Often, Kevin  takes extended

measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee

breaks. Kevin  is an individual who has absolutely no

vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound

knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Kevin can be

classified as a high-caliber employee, the type that cannot be

dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Kevin be

promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be

executed as soon as possible.

Regards,

Project Leader

Shortly thereafter, the HR department received another mail from the Project Leader:

Sorry, but that idiot was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier. For true assessment kindly consider  only the odd numbered lines.

Regards,

Project Leader.

Jargons:Performance Appraisal – Reading between the lines

Will go very far : Management relative

Very creative: Cites umpteeen reasons to do anything but work.

Demonstrates leadership: Has a loud voice.

Strong adherence to principles: Stubborn.

Tactful in dealing with superiors: Knows when to keep mouth shut.

Keen sense of humor: Knows lots of dirty jokes.

Identifies major management problems: Complains too much.

Delegates responsibility effectively: Passes the buck perfectly.

Active socially: Alcohol abuser.

Alert to company developments: Gossiper.

Gets along extremely well with everyone: A coward.

Happy: Paid way over capabilities.

Is very loyal: Wanted by no-one in the organization.

Marketing Blunders

Scandinavian vacuum manufacturer Electrolux used the following in an American campaign: "Nothing Sucks like an Electrolux."

An American T-shirt maker in Miami printed t-shirts for the Spanish market which promoted the Pope's visit. Instead of "I saw the Pope" (el Papa), the shirts read "I Saw the Potato" (la papa).

When Gerber started selling baby food in Africa, they used the same packaging as in the US, with the smiling baby on the label. Later they learned that in Africa, companies routinely put pictures on the labels of what's inside, since many people can't read.

 Chalte Chalte :Food for thought

If a train station is where the train stops and a bus station is where the bus stops, what is a work station?